Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@dumbbeezie : If you think you could never kill a person you just haven’t met the right one
@dumbbeezie: Please say a prayer for my former coworkers. They’re fine but they still work there
@dumbbeezie: I’ve never texted someone to let them know I made it home safe. Shoulda come with me if you wanted details
@dumbbeezie: I love selfies. They kill more people than sharks
@dumbbeezie: I have jury duty tomorrow so whoever it is, they’re getting the chair
@dumbbeezie: I got a final Jeopardy question right and now my pinky won’t stay down when I take a drink
@dumbbeezie: My phone only recognizes my fingerprint if it has cheese on it
@dumbbeezie: Sometimes I lay awake at night and ask myself, why don’t I have a hedgehog?
@dumbbeezie: My friend takes things for granite because she didn’t finish high school
@dumbbeezie: The guy who named peacocks was never allowed to name anything again
There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
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FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)
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