I hate to brag, but I just had some sizzling hot, steamy action in the shower.
(Tried to clear the drain with baking soda, vinegar and boiling water)
Got a piece of mail today addressed to “Epic” instead of “Eric” and finally somebody truly gets me.
Putting a bunch of small decorative rocks in front of your house is a bold move, but putting one big rock in your yard is a boulder move.
Alcohol infused candy called Fermentos.
Lola the dog and I have been exploring the new neighborhood, but only one of us took a big steaming dump on the neighbor’s yard.
She was mortified at my behavior but when you gotta go, you gotta go.
But what if options were limited, and portions were small and overpriced?
– Food Trucks
I have this really hot fantasy about having sex in…
… my lifetime.
I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.
Woke last night to the sound of thunder, that last bean burrito was a blunder 🎶
Can’t, going through the work email I just wrote with a fine tooth comb to eliminate all traces of sarcasm, opinionation, and existential despair.
My boss says that I have some exciting new assignments coming, whoa buddy, I will be the judge of that.
Why is it called maple syrup instead of “log jam”?
11 famous chickens who flew the coop, number 7 will surprise you
– cluckbait
Miss Pissy Face and Mr Crabby Pants in HR told me I am not allowed to make up nicknames for my co-workers anymore.
When I was younger, I always wanted to become a Gregorian monk.
Unfortunately, I never had the chants