Aladdin: 🎶I can show you the world-
me: I’m cold this is boring
Indiana Jones and that one time he went to his actual job
Jesus: hey cheer up it’s nearly FriYAY!
judas: actually know what, I’m good now
Clueless is my favorite movie about how rich people have real hard problems too
hate when you’re not sure if you shouted OH NO before or after you answered a call to someone you didn’t feel like speaking to
Rose: I’ll never let go
Jack: are you sure aboat that lol
Rose: wow you make a lot of puns, I never noticed before
Jack: does it give you a sinking feeling lmaoo
Rose: maybe you should let go
evil queen: would you like an apple?
me [is snow white]: nah not really
evil queen: but it’s a magic wishing apple!
me: meh, even so
John Hammond: omg all the systems in Jurassic Park are down, give me advice
Ray: fine well you probably shouldn’t have opened this place. Actually I think your wife left because-
John Hammond: TECHNICAL ADVICE
Could sum up all Indiana Jones movies with ‘finding old stuff violently.’
Couples therapist: so what’s the main issue
Henry VIII: she doesn’t support my goals
Therapist: for example?
Henry VIII: well I just want to kill her and marry someone else, I mean why is she like this
FBI: you are so busted!
Me: omg thanks 🤭
My true love: [gives to me a partridge in a pear tree]
Me: wtf how did you wrap this
Tweet thief [secretly the Backstreet Boys] 🎶am I original?
– Naaah –
Tweet thief: 🎶am I the only one
– LOL NO –
Tweet thief: 🎶am I SEXUAL
*Awkward silence*
Rose: [in Titanic] I’ll never let go, Jack
Jack: 🥶
Elsa from Frozen: lol know what would be funny right now
Trojans: oh cool guys it’s that giant horse we ordered off Amazon
Greek soldiers: [quietly] lmao