@ellentee

You bring home one goat and suddenly you’re not allowed to go to the farmers market unsupervised anymore.

@ellentee

I wore a beanie hat in public and people kept trying to buy drugs from me. I made $1200 but now I’m out of breath mints.

@ellentee

Cashier: I love your lip gloss!

Me: Thanks, it’s food court teriyaki chicken glaze.