Sometimes when my boyfriend makes a racist joke I am like Ugh why did I even imagine you?
[Google search history]
How to kill moles
How to make homemade bombs
Rescue moles from cave-in
Dealing with regret
Unwritten rule: if you find an unconscious security guard you have to drag him to a supply closet and change into his uniform.
Before I die, I’m putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames.
My grand children will be so pwned.