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@ericacanrant : If your partner makes you sleep closest to the door, you are either the protector or bait for the zombies.
@ericacanrant: 911? Yes, I was making donuts and... yes, donuts... yes, I'll hold. DAMN YOU GUYS ARE FAST!
@ericacanrant: You know its my phone if it looks like someone fingerpainted the touch screen in donut glaze.
@ericacanrant: A scared look and a "let me go google that" is not what you want to hear from the gynecologist.
@ericacanrant: If you say I'm getting fat again Aunt Betty, I'll make a "anything for 5 dollars" ad on Craigslist with your name and number.
@ericacanrant: Looking for rich sugardaddy to support me so I can support my boyfriend so he can tweet more. *thoughtful romantic tweet*