You can’t scare me. You’re not my child telling me that she’s tidied my bedroom and that there’s a surprise..
Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.
I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.
This is no longer an app but a mishapp
Miss 9: When I grow up I’m going to have this house. When you.. you know..
Miss 9 trips over something and bangs her jaw on the bed.
Ohh no, how come you’re so clumsy I ask just as I bump my own head on a door frame.
The pointless tidy up before a play date.
You know how we used to be scared of monsters grabbing our legs from under the bed?
Meet my cat.
Explained how to make an April Fools Day joke to Miss 9.
“Mummy, you look pretty today.”
If you’re on the fence about becoming a parent.
This recipe takes only 30 minutes.
3.5hrs after preparing all the ingredients, it did indeed take 30 minutes.
Call me so I have your number.
[5 minutes later] Oh.. I have a missed call?
Mum to child: Have you got a sticker we could use?
Child produces 6 billion.
As a parent my favourite part of the weekend is Monday.
Parents. Top tip for getting to school on time. Go without them.
If a really late person marries a really early person they’ll produce an on time child. In theory.