This is no longer an app but a mishapp
Miss 9: When I grow up I’m going to have this house. When you.. you know..
Miss 9 trips over something and bangs her jaw on the bed.
Ohh no, how come you’re so clumsy I ask just as I bump my own head on a door frame.
The pointless tidy up before a play date.
You know how we used to be scared of monsters grabbing our legs from under the bed?
Meet my cat.
Explained how to make an April Fools Day joke to Miss 9.
“Mummy, you look pretty today.”
If you’re on the fence about becoming a parent.
This recipe takes only 30 minutes.
3.5hrs after preparing all the ingredients, it did indeed take 30 minutes.
Call me so I have your number.
[5 minutes later] Oh.. I have a missed call?
Mum to child: Have you got a sticker we could use?
Child produces 6 billion.
As a parent my favourite part of the weekend is Monday.
Parents. Top tip for getting to school on time. Go without them.
If a really late person marries a really early person they’ll produce an on time child. In theory.
Friend: Are you ok if I cook (whatever) tonight?
Me: Unable to contain happiness that someone else is cooking and cries.
Yesterday, myself, Miss 9 and husband were sat on a train in and around a man with a book entitled Surrounded by Idiots.
We have completed this week’s homework and can sum the whole experience up by saying that I’d have preferred to have done a week’s worth of washing instead. Twice.