sorry I can’t come to work today, my dog finally caught a bird this morning and I’m going to need the next 2-6 weeks to emotionally recover
a cute boy moved in next door and his bedroom window is across from mine, I hope this doesn’t turn into a coming of age film.
them: are you with someone or are you alone?
me: *winks* who’s asking?
them: ma’am, this is a vaccination clinic.