My biggest weakness has been that I get attached very quickly.
~Superglue, probably..
Apparently “You should Google it” isn’t the best response when she asks how much do you love me?
Sigh, women are so demanding..
There are days & nights where I’m surrounded by profound Darkness, followed by a realisation that I need to stop wearing shades in my house.
Whenever a long lost friend calls me, I get suspicious & wonder if he’s calling me to sell Amway products..
Hate it when I get carried away with emotions.
Lost a who-blinks-1st competition with a box of donuts & had to eat em all in a fit of rage
Me: What’s your strongest weakness?
Candidate: …
*Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up
M: It’s a trick question. You’re hired!
Apparently “The WiFi signal is the strongest there” isn’t the right answer when the boss asks “Why are you spending so much time in toilet?”
I’ve always wanted to rewrite history but couldn’t decide on the font..
My friend is mad at me because I saw her using a huge tablet to make a call so I offered her a gas cylinder to light her cigarette..
She once called me bae so I had to baeurry her in my backyard..
I save a lot of money on all my tooth extractions by engaging in street fights..
How to avoid interaction with coworkers in 4 steps?
1. Take a group selfie
2. Crop everyone out except you
3. Post it on FB
4. Tag all of em
That awkward moment when you die, and all you were trying to do was take a selfie with a lion on a jungle safari..
Mehh
~Goat, sighing..