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Page of fatherofcomedy's best tweets

@fatherofcomedy : I don't like doing the same things again so much that I can never be a serial killer.

@fatherofcomedy: People think i am so incapable of doing anything on my own that even if i commit suicide they would say it was murder.

@fatherofcomedy: I threw caution to the wind.caution is my little brother.

@fatherofcomedy: My friend likes going out.Recently he went out of his mind.

@fatherofcomedy: They say genius skips a generation.In our case it fell off our family tree and died.

@fatherofcomedy: My ex was a true professional.she said "you are fired" when we broke up.

@fatherofcomedy: I am not afraid to stand up to my wife when she is not looking.

@fatherofcomedy: I killed a girl who posted too many selfies.I think i can claim selfie-defence.

@fatherofcomedy: wish there was an edit option when d atm shows ur account balance!

@fatherofcomedy: Our wedding pic looks like my wife's selfie photo bombed by me.