Welcome to parenthood. You will be issued 5 overly noisy toys by people who you thought cared about you shortly.
I just got a robot vacuum. I think I’m going to put a bag of goldfish on top and let it take care of my daughter from now on
My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me
Hot pies in your area want you to snatch them off the windowsill
One day my daughter will walk into the kitchen when I’m sneak-eating cookies and there will be a reckoning
You bring an airhorn *one time* and suddenly you’re banned from bar trivia
Watching a Canadian stream, I just saw an ad for “OK Tire”. That’s the kind of business I want to buy from, one where I’m 75% sure the tires won’t just explode on the highway.
A cat burglar, but it’s just me putting stray cats in people’s houses when they leave