I tell people that the secret ingredient
in my cookies is “love” but it’s actually “floor” .
Apparently If ur BF says “if anything happens to me,I want u to meet someone new….”
“anything” doesn’t include getting stuck in
traffic.
It’s weird that ‘coward’ doesn’t mean
“towards a cow”.*sips wine*
At a job interview:
“What are your strengths?”
“I’m an optimist and a positive
thinker.”“Give me an example”
“When do I start?”