Mariah Carey beginning with “I don’t want a lot for Christmas” and then revealing she wants “you” is such a good burn
When she finally says yes and you realize that wasn’t a condom you were carrying around for the past 9 years
I’ve finally found a place that sells peanut butter by the splat
When the lady at the hardware store pointed down and told me my caulk was hanging out, I nearly had a heart attack!
