*Hits Rock Bottom*
Dwayne Johnson: I have a boyfriend.
Star Wars (1977): A wounded warrior overcomes severe burn injuries to build a massive empire only to see his estranged son destroy it.
The opening ceremony for our ribbon repair business was pretty confusing.
I don’t eat some foods.
-vagueans
I wish radical Islamists were just Muslims who were really into surfing.
Wait you misunderstood. When I called you “doll face,” I was referring to Chucky.
Toy Story (1995): A young boy’s toy chest becomes possessed by haunted dolls, forcing the family to move away. But the dolls find him.
How can I relax when every aspect of my physical and mental state is governed by something called The Nervous System?
Psst. The real reason Ryan Gosling is taking a break from acting was to molt, mature & become Ryan Goose.
Sit in Starbucks and scream into your phone, “What we need is fresh screenwriting talent! An unknown! Where on earth can we find it?”
I washed my antibiotic pills down with a probiotic shake and now I’m back to square one.
Somewhere, a real Nigerian prince is sitting at his computer wondering, “Why oh why does nobody reply to my emails?”