Gym instructor: It’s never too late to start working out.
Me: Fantastic! I’ll start tomorrow.
How can you call yourself a pervert?
I’ve never seen you at any of the meetings.
Him: If you’re so smart, name all 50 states!
Me: Drunken, Stoned, tipsy, sad, happy, sloppy, loved, confused, exhausted, ecstatic, fatigued…
Him: Ok,enough FFS.
Me: oooo, angry!
I still giggle when i get in an Elevator and someone asks me “Going Down? ” as i am so tempted to say to them “Buy me dinner first”.
“There will be blood” is my favourite movie about hoping you get your period after the condom broke.
Fifty shades of grey is my favourite movie about English weather.
I was dating a Masseuse but he rubbed me up the wrong way so now I’m dating his brother the chiropractor, who so really cracks me up.
Snow white: it’s really starting to get dark in the forest & I’m gettting scared!
Huntsman: How do you think I feel! I’ve gotta find my way back on my own.
Whats O07s kink?
Bond-age.