Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.
Tiktok made twitter look like a science club.
If I buy the circus the monkey will be the manager.
Retweet this if you want to be abducted by aliens.
Roses are red, I stole them from the neighbor’s garden.
~poetry
I always have the urge to bite and I hate garlic, I hope they’re signs.
I don’t need anyone to motivate me to say what I think, I need someone to remind me to shut up.
The urge to throw a coconut at someone.
I’m sorry I said take me to church because I needed a ride to the liquor store nearby.
I need to be drunk looking in the passport picture because I’ll certainly be drunk when I’m traveling.
My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.
Remember that the most popular man in the village was its idiot.
Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.
The only thing we need to bring back is duels.
You know who inspires me? The 0.01% germ nobody can kill.