*relates to your tweet in the wrong way*
*seductively annoys the shit out of you*
*frowns in Scottish*
Do as I scooby say, not as I scooby doo.
*me to my dog.
I can usually tell when a movie doesn’t use real dinosaurs.
*trips over an ice cube dropped on the floor*
Me: This is JUST like the Titanic!!
I hate people who use big words in tweets just to make themselves look perspicacious.
I like donuts.
Twitter:
My sense of humour has been described as “oh god..” and “please stop, this is a funeral”.
Instesd of avoiding typos, embrance them. No one will pint them out if you spell everythinj wring.
Billy Joel’s washing is still wet because he didn’t start the dryer.
Them: Do you know who you look like?
Me: No, and I’d prefer we kept it that way.
I was actually doing so well until your email found me.
Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.
