You can get away with having a large pile of dirty clothes easily, if you put a sign on top of them that sais ”Experiment”
Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses
– Are you suuure there’s nothing to eat?
-One moment, let me check my bra
-Do you have this t-shirt on large
-Sir, it’s a yard sale
I stopped a man on the street to give me directions and he politely asked ”you want to go somewhere?”. I have to admit I hesitated for a bit
Me, watching you order just one pizza and there’s four of us: I guess you’re an optimist
If you actually call it junk drawer you’ll stop putting stuff in it and another drawer becomes official junk drawer
I get it, orcas! I, too, like to sink annoying children’s toys in the pool
Did it hurt? When you saw the candy you bought yesterday going half price
”It looks like that man who seems familiar is waving at me, but is he really?” And that my friends, is what I should have thought before waving back😬
(Me, finding lemons outside my door again) Good thing universe has a hearing problem! I wasn’t serious when I ordered those demons
Me: You know what would improve this dreadful place? An open bar
Other people in the waiting room:
Melons are like: You have no way of knowing how I am on the inside. Take me home, honey. Buy me
Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse
He took my last fry, your honor