Do you know what happens after 8 tequila shots?
Me neither.
I ate a kid’s meal today at McDonald’s.
His mom got really mad.
My wife asked me to toast some bread for her. So, I raised my beer and said, “Here’s to bread.”
I might be drinking too much…
I gave up going to work for lent.
The hardest part of your divorce will be finding a recent attractive photo of yourself to upload to dating sites.
Remember kids, every weekend can be a three day weekend if you’re still too drunk from Thursday! 🍻
I want that job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.
Part of me says I should slow down on the drinking. The other part says, “Don’t listen to him, he’s drunk.”