@gtfml

When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

@gtfml

Never ask me “Who hurt you?” unless you want to sit through a 13 hour PowerPoint presentation.

@gtfml

When someone tells me they’re a bodybuilder, I always ask “Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?” because you can never be too careful.