An egg looks at another egg and says:
“Why are you so hairy?”
“Shut up, I’m a kiwi!”
#RubbishJokes #TuesdayVibe
Smoothies- the art of selling half a banana and a peach for £3.50.
#RubbishJokes #JokeDay
#FridayVibe
What’s pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff.
What’s purple and fluffy?
Pink fluff holding its breath.#RubbishJokes #PinkDay
#ThursdayVibe
Two mushrooms in a forest.
One says: “Hi, how are you?”
The other replies: “Shut up, mushrooms can’t talk!”
#RubbishJokes #WednesdayVibe
My plumber found a blunt in my faucet.
No wonder my water bills are so high.#PlumbersDay
What kind of bait does a librarian use when he goes fishing?
A bookworm!
#RubbishJokes #AmazingFacts
#ThursdayThoughts #ThursdayVibes
What’s brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on holiday!
#RubbishJokes #AmazingFacts
#SaturdayVibes #SaturdayThoughts #Holiday
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
#DolphinDay
“Mum I think I’m pregnant. ”
“Are you drunk?”
“How do you know?”
“A mother knows everything, Kevin.”
#MothersDay
What’s the loudest pet?
A trumpet.
#PetDay
Carrots are a great thing to eat
when you’re hungry and
want to stay that way.#CarrotDay
If Popeye ate escargots instead of spinach would he be known as Popeye the snailor man?
#SpinachDay
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill…
so I’ve sent him a “Get well soon” card.#WorldWaterDay
Roses are red,
I love mashed potato.
Poetry is hard,
laminator.#PoetryDay
Pollen is what happens when flowers can’t keep it in their plants.