My 5 y/o just pooped teal. I asked what she ate and she said, I hid in the pantry yesterday and ate all the blue sprinkles in the shaker. FFS
Yea girl, he’s your soulmate. And her soulmate, and her soulmate, and….ya know.
*crashes your wedding
Why aren’t you answering my DM?!
I like to take my pants off in the middle of arguments so they end quicker.
I went to type “kill me” and it changed to “milk me.” I don’t even know what else to say now.
Stop. It’s not like I’m after everyone’s husband. Just yours.