me: raises hell
Hell: put me back down!
*3yo’s birthday*
Me: happy birthday, can you blow the candles out?
3yo: ok *blows hard*
Me: great job
3yo: great blow job
Me:
3yo: ?
Me: …. just eat the cake
*During sex*
Him: come on baby, moan for me….
Me: why didn’t you take the bloody rubbish out like I asked?
All those years of karate training wasted …
I’ve never once had to paint a fence or wax a car ….
My husband’s really not keen on this whole ‘date night’ thing that married people are supposed to do……
Perhaps next time I should go out with him?
Hubby just choked after he bit into a grape and it squirted down his throat….
Not as easy as it looks is it?
Why is my body letting me get a cold?
I gave it an orange only last week….
And God said to John, come forth and ye shall be granted eternal life…..
But John came fifth and won a toaster.