my fav colour is also hitler
[INT. STARBUCKS – DAY]
Me: Theres a large rat in the bathroom
Barista: ?
Me: A large rat
Barista: ?
Me: THERES A VENTI RAT IN THE BATHROOM
Bored? Find group photo of 4 women on Instagram. Comment “You 3 look incredible!!”
Jerk chicken is just regular chicken that made fun of me in high school
I wonder if all the other popcorn kernels in the bag freak out when the first kernel pops
Apparently the g-spot is located in a $1700 pair of Christian Louboutins.
Why doesn’t every mistake in real life I make have a squiggly red line underneath it?