“Oooo, a window. Let’s see if I can fly through it.” – Dumbass birds
Atheists certainly have a lot to say about the nothing they believe in.
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
Wifey: We should get a chest freezer.
Me: We don’t need a freezer that big.
Wifey: What if we need to hide bodies?
Me: I love you.
Chef: What kind of bread would you like? We have wheat, rye, white…
Me: Black bread.
Chef: We don’t have that.
Me: Racist.
Next time you let someone here affect your real life, tell a stranger “I’m mad at some online person I’ve never met” then let them punch you
Favorite question to ask a prospective boyfriend for my sister:
Have you ever seen a dead body?
*casually lifts shirt to expose .357*
“It’s too early for porn.” Said no man ever.
Currently accomplishing an astonishing amount of nothing, at a blistering rate.