Faith can move mountains, but cash can move the paperwork.
Dear friend, if you ever feel bad, call me.
I promise to sing for you.
Then you can decide what’s worse.
Interviewer: It says in your CV that you are quick at maths. What is 23 x 39?
Me: 69.
Interviewer: That’s not even close.
Me: No, but it was quick, isn’t it?
She was REALLY feeling it.
my best friend complained about her husband to me yesterday & I advised her to leave him.
Today she tweeted “No monkey can separate us ”
There are some “IDIOTS” in this world, That Always Reply “NO” to every question we ask them….
now tell me, Are you one of Them?
She said “stay up, imma call you”.
i’ve been awake for 4 days
Dating is just wondering why some people are single and figuring it out.
Overheard This Weekend
Boy: Babe comes over to my place.
Gal: what do you want us to do?
Boy: Just to chill
Gal: I don’t chill. That’s how people end up with chill-dren!
Teamwork is essential, it allows you to blame someone else.
Relationship stress can make you very confused!
Could you believe me , I entered a taxi today and forgot to sit down ?
I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.
Goats will be chewing while looking at you like they have seen you somewhere.
Me: You are pretty.
She: Thanks.Me: I wish there was something between us.
She: Me too.Me: Really?? Like what??
She: A wall.
this is not a scam
DM me if you wanna turn your $500 into my $500.