I’m worried my dog will never find out who’s a good boy.
My new single, “New Single” is available now from my new album, “Available Now”, available now.
“Welcome to Panda Express”
“I’d like one panda”
“Sorry we don’t sell pand-”
*slips cashier $100*
“Meet me in the back alley in ten minutes”
“Hey, wanna hangout?” “Later.” “Now?” “No, later” “How about now?” “Jesus christ.” -if Adobe Updater was your friend
I just made way too much pasta, so if you haven’t eaten dinner yet, swing by and watch me eat way too much pasta.
From now on, when you see the word “minimum”, good luck trying to not imagine a tiny British mother.
Damn girl are you the sun because you need to stay 92,960,000 miles away from me.
I bet Usher shows everyone to their seats at his concerts.
Listen son, you know how you find an awesome song & you listen to it over and over again until you hate it? Well, I’m leaving your mother.