A Cobra wanted to fight me but I challenged him to a thumb war and he slitthered away embarrassed.
A Cobra wanted to fight me but I challenged him to a thumb war and he slitthered away embarrassed.
I accidentally confused Star Trek with Star Wars and some kid threatened to cut me with his Virgin card.
I accidentally confused Star Trek with Star Wars and some kid threatened to cut me with his Virgin card.
“I don’t think Gay Guys should be able to get abortions”
-Me when someone asks me a question that I don’t know the answer to.
After killing a spider I wrap the web around his neck and hang him from the wall to make it look like a suicide.
I once challenged Snoop Dogg to a rap battle and the loser had to change their name.
I bought some Velcro shoes so that nobody can make fun of my velcro wallet anymore because now they will match
I go to the bank wearing a Ski mask because I want everyone to know how athletic I am.
Wearing a seashell necklace is a great way to let everyone know how cool you were in 1996.
The best way to see if someone is telling the truth is to tie them to a chair and start up the ol chainsaw.
Sometimes I drown cookies in milk in front of their family until they tell me the whereabouts of the Keebler Elves.
I keep chalk in my back pocket at all times in case any of you motherfuckers are foolish enough to challenge me at Hopscotch.
What helps a pedophile walk and do his job?
A Candy Cane.
Apparently everyone in this Court room doesn’t want to play Duck Duck Goose……Excuse me for trying to lighten up this murder trial.