Food bloggers could post a recipe for ice and it’d still be 3 pages long.
I’m single in quarantine and just found a box of googly eyes. I’m going to place them on objects around the house because I miss social anxiety.
Any day now, there will be a country song called “(He broke up with me from) 6 Feet Apart”.
It’s now socially acceptable to play Cards Against Humanity with your 8 year old.
Day 5 of quarantine. Alexa and I are no longer speaking to each other.
I’m guessing the game Twister isn’t getting a lot of action right now.
My Uber driver just told me that he’s been doing a lot of pick ups/drop offs at ER’s and Urgent Care, so, goodbye.
(walks into coworker’s office who has an Echo)
Alexa, what is Pi to a thousand digits?
People who say “why wasn’t I invited?” don’t realize that they are actually the real winners.
My neighbors still have their Christmas wreath on the door. I was gonna knock to complain, but I don’t like confrontation so I just stole it.