If you tell me that something is just a hop, skip, and a jump away, I’m not going. That’s exercise.
YouTube videos are like: fix it yourself in a few easy steps! You just need a screwdriver, soldering iron, hydraulic torque wrench, stork beak pliers, and a scissor lift!
My favorite part of Beethoven’s 5th symphony is the rap battle 18 minutes in.
My dad.
I call my job ‘Workle’ because it usually takes me 4 to 6 tries to get anything done.
My dryer is celebrating lint.
Can’t believe todays Wordle was UPDOG.
I bet somebody on Facebook is vowing to not eat Russian salad dressing EVER AGAIN.
2/22/22 was created by Big 2 to sell more 2s.
“Those aren’t the variants you’re looking for” –
Obicron Kenobi
Salon: would you like to receive haircut reminder texts?
Me: no thanks. I have a mirror.
Sure, getting murdered is horrible, but have you ever been stuck in and endless group text?
I hate my earbuds.
So done with NPR. Every time I call to request a song, they NEVER play it.
“I’m quitting Twitter forever!”
This isn’t Twitter International Airport. You don’t need to announce your departure.