i am:
⚪️ a man
⚪️ a woman
🔘 living in the year 2021looking for:
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 a way out
i am:
⚪️ a man
⚪️ a woman
🔘 at a family get togetherlooking for:
⚪️ men
⚪️ women
🔘 a way out
me (under my breath): don’t let her know how awkward you are
date: what are you having
me: an ok time
barista: name for the latte?
me: it’s Zach with an “h”
*two minutes later*
barista: i’ve got a latte for Hach
cop: could you please describe the man who tried to kill you
me: yeah he was not nice
(to kid at lemonade stand) i ain’t buying shit until i find you on yelp
retweet this to electronically sign my petition to ban windmills worldwide . we’ve had enough bird casualties . and for what ?more wind ?
[sitting on park bench]
homeless guy: I’m so alone
me: okay wow I’m right here
screw you
