@inmybox07

[First day of medical school]
Teacher: Here is a diagram of all the vessels of the body…
Me: So in surgery, do we cut the red one or the blue one to diffuse the bomb?

@inmybox07

“This syrup tastes funny…”

-Me, drunk, putting soy sauce on my pancakes

@inmybox07

You might think I’m flirting, but really those faces are just me trying to get the peanut butter off the roof of my mouth

@inmybox07

Whoever designated mini cupcakes as “two-bite” has greatly underestimated my #cupcake eating abilities.

@inmybox07

Me: I need a simple, easy hobby to relax and clear my mind

Also me: I will teach myself metalworking techniques from the Middle Ages

@inmybox07

Apparently I’m a bad mother for having a lip piercing. Actually sir, that is a zit. Thank you for pointing it out.

@inmybox07

My son won a plastic horn at the fair so now our house is filled with obnoxious noise because my husband won’t put it down