Why is my daughter asking me to play jenga like I didn’t give her a brother and sister for that exact reason?
Did you have a good day or did you grab a rotisserie chicken at the market that wasn’t sealed and the juice spilled all over your feet? And you were wearing flip flops.
In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.
Told my mom I was frustrated with my kid and she reminded me when I was two I flushed an entire box of tampons down the toilet in the Chicago winter and froze the pipes and honestly why is she making this about her?
Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.
Felt great to be hit on by a kid in his 20’s on my bday until my sister told me I could be his mother.
Sometimes I think about the time my four year old told me she ate fruit at school and when I asked her what kind she said flamangos.
When my daughter is alarmed she says what the fridge! And I’m cool with it.
I love visiting my parents cause then we get to argue about why it’s not ok to give my kids ketchup that’s 2 years expired.
The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.
Kids be like I can’t eat any more bites at dinner and then shockingly have room for 7 cookies.
Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.
Asked my allergist to test for kid allergies and she said I can’t be allergic to my kids so that sucked.
Im writing a parenting book called kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did.
I’ve been calling my kids children of the corn for so long my daughter just called me mom of the corn and I’m fine with it.