9: Don’t break anyone’s heart. But they do have 209 bones.
Me: You make me so proud.
Set my alarm for 2 am to go into my son’s room and tell him it’s raining to repay the favor he let me know this morning.
When my kids aren’t listening to me I just yell ignore me! And then I feel better that they’re finally listening.
My husband did a load of dishes and folded a load of laundry and then complained that I didn’t even notice and I laughed so hard I almost coughed up a lung.
It’s woman law if another woman tells you your outfit is cute and you got a deal on it you must tell them where you got it and how much it cost.
I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.
I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework and she brings it home marked incorrect.
I always pencil in 45 minutes in my calendar when asking my daughter a question.
Got to the airport and paid $30 for a coffee and breakfast burrito the size of a Smurf.
Me: Do that thing I like.
Husband: Soaks dishes.
All 3 kids need braces so I explained to them that they will have beautiful teeth but no further education.
Got my twins a bunk bed so now I can worry about two kids falling at once.
My daughter just asked me if Cinderella’s shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force.
Nothing prepares you for the metamorphosis of when you open your mouth and your mother comes out.
Was shocked to hear this little girl say she wanted to be a street walker when she grows up until I realized she meant a crossing guard.