People who try to beat you when walking into a store. No.
Me:(Standing on a Bosu Ball at bootcamp) No one tells us what to do.
Trainer(rolling eyes) Rene, get down. You asked me to teach this.
What’s your favorite song?-Me, to a baby wearing a Metallica shirt at the grocery store.
A guy in line next to me just asked me to hold his coffee and I’m like I’m not looking for anything serious right now.
Room service: Would you like your glass of wine before din…Me:(interrupting) YES.
Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don’t know.
Me:Thank you, he’s so hot I don’t even know what I want to do first…Grandma: (interrupting) Okay, can someone else say the prayer please?
If he asks you to be his girlfriend say yes and then hide from him so he can never break up with you.
*runs thru a couple holding hands like it’s the finish line of a marathon.
If u love someone and they don’t love u back the first thing you need to do is make them a scrapbook with you both in little wedding outfits
Group of 12 year old girls: We’re scared of boys. Me: OMG, me tooooooo!
Trainer: Are you wearing lipstick? Me: OMG no, that’s just wine.
(On phone) Him: I just ran a marathon in under four? Me: (eating) months or years?
Her: I like how you did your hair today. Me: OMG thank you, I passed out in my closet last night.
You know when motorcyclists give a little wave to each other, I do that when I see someone else eating in their car.