Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through.
One of the most romantic things a rose can do for another rose is leave a trail of human body parts from the front door to the bedroom.
“I hate hashtags!” Dad screams as he smashes his #1 Dad coffee mug against a wall.
You’d think Bowser would start locking the front door of his castle after the first time Mario just walked right in like he owned the joint.
It saddens me that the closest my car will ever get to being a Transformer is when I fold in the side mirrors.
Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
Wonder which part of Batman’s belt holds the bat-shaped throat lozenges he uses after speaking in his tough voice for long periods of time.