Kate who dumped me at junior school now wants me to like her interior decorating Facebook page.
How the tables have turned Kate.
People can’t drive.
Take this guy behind me for example, doing 110 mph with flashing blue lights.
What the hell is a ECILOP anyway??
*Waits 3 days*
*Slowly takes bite of food*
*Waitress appears from under the table in camouflage*
HOW IS EVERYTHING??
Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.
I’m not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?
Hey guys! Remember the golden rules this festive season, when shopping in crowded places;
2/Stop for no reason
Made some terrible life choices the last few years.
Just kidding. I’m married and not allowed to make decisions.