@jannable9

Kate who dumped me at junior school now wants me to like her interior decorating Facebook page.

How the tables have turned Kate.

@jannable9

People can’t drive.

Take this guy behind me for example, doing 110 mph with flashing blue lights.

What the hell is a ECILOP anyway??

@jannable9

*Food arrives*

*Waits 3 days*

*Slowly takes bite of food*

*Waitress appears from under the table in camouflage*

HOW IS EVERYTHING??

@jannable9

I’m not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?

@jannable9

Hey guys! Remember the golden rules this festive season, when shopping in crowded places;

1/Walk slow

2/Stop for no reason

3/Repeat above

@jannable9

Made some terrible life choices the last few years.

Just kidding. I’m married and not allowed to make decisions.