(flirting) sooo how do you feel about girls who are brooding, intense, and inherently off-putting in all social situations
my friends: omg how are you!
me: i wronged the gods in all my past lives and i once again have only bad news
i could never be hannah montana because i would take one hit of a joint at a party, turn to the person closest to me, and immediately go “i neeeeeeed to tell u something”
beat teen pregnancy and with the current dating market it looks like i might beat adult pregnancy too
if a job listing has “rockstar” anywhere in the description: run.
I accidentally bump into a man.
He yells, “What’s your problem, lady?!”
I stare at him. I do not know which problem he is referring to. I have so many.
turns out I don’t want a boyfriend, I just want a duet partner to sing the guy’s part in “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men. sorry for the confusion
in high school, my mom once asked where i was going from a few rooms over while i was heading out the door.
i yelled “to do drugs!” and she yelled back “haha good one have fun!”
then i left to go do drugs