my heart says yes but my mom said no
I’m my own boyfriend when it comes to farts
Girl in the locker room put her pants on the floor and tried to hop into them. I was going to call her awesomepants, but coma girl works too
“Wow you’re one of the nicest old ladies I’ve ever met!”- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear
Him: Would you like to have lunch sometime?
Me: I like to have lunch every afternoon.
Please leave a message after the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II soundtrack.
– a casual ghost
MTVs Teen Mom has been cancelled. At least one person on that network knows when to pull out.
In marijuana’s defense, I’m lazy as shit completely sober too.