Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of jewfacekilla's best tweets

@jewfacekilla : I'm my own boyfriend when it comes to farts

@jewfacekilla: Girl in the locker room put her pants on the floor and tried to hop into them. I was going to call her awesomepants, but coma girl works too

@jewfacekilla: "Wow you're one of the nicest old ladies I've ever met!"- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear

@jewfacekilla: Him: Would you like to have lunch sometime?

Me: I like to have lunch every afternoon.

@jewfacekilla: Please leave a message after the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II soundtrack.

@jewfacekilla: MTVs Teen Mom has been cancelled. At least one person on that network knows when to pull out.

@jewfacekilla: In marijuana's defense, I'm lazy as shit completely sober too.