My therapist sure does pronounce “awesome” a lot like “narcissism”
I’m my own boyfriend when it comes to farts
Girl in the locker room put her pants on the floor and tried to hop into them. I was going to call her awesomepants, but coma girl works too
“Wow you’re one of the nicest old ladies I’ve ever met!”- me, loudly to a random old lady so my mom can hear
Him: Would you like to have lunch sometime?
Me: I like to have lunch every afternoon.
Please leave a message after the entire Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II soundtrack.
“Hey, boo”
– a casual ghost