In email they should change “Save As New” to “Ugh, I’ll Deal With That Later.”
As long as McDonald’s doesn’t make us pay with excercise.
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
Hate weight limit signs in the elevator. Then I’m put in the awkward position of telling some pregnant woman she has to take the stairs.
How about a meat that is also a dental floss? – Pitch for prosciutto
“How about a month filled with stress and obligation?” – Pitch for December
“Today I’m just going to wear pajamas all day.” – Hugh Hefner ever morning of his life.
Rest in peace. That doesn’t sound that bad. It’s not like you die and then you have to run a marathon
I didn’t get a chance to do yoga this morning or any other morning of my life.
When are they going to drug test the audience of “The Price Is Right.”? No one should be that happy.