When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”
You can get out of a TSA pat-down much faster if you keep whispering the word “slower” in the agent’s ear.
Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.
My cousin told everyone he could do a backflip. We all gathered around him. He said, “I can’t do it if you’re watching.” #MyFamilyIsWeird