@jobrowneyes

Quarantine status: I now leave an emergency bra near my keys in case I need to go anywhere.

@jobrowneyes

*Arrives in Hell*

Devil: Here, help these 5th graders with common core math

@jobrowneyes

Can Twitter come up with relationship statuses like FB?

-Married and spouse knows about account
-Married but acts single
-Single and getting some
-Single and jealous of people getting some
-Registered sex offender