I’m going to freeze some of my sperm so that if something goes wrong later in life, I can kill my nemesis with a disgusting icicle.
[on Mars]
ASTRONAUT: An alien!
MISSION CONTROL: Ok, so
A: I choke slammed it
MC: What?
A: Another one!
MC: DO NOT CH
A: [choke slam noises]
HANG GLIDER COP: I see a crime happening directly below me
[glides on]
Not much I can do
ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair
YOU: Ok
ME: [drinks from toilet like dog]
YOU: You’ve made your point I’ll wash up some glasses