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Page of johngcaldwell4's best tweets

@johngcaldwell4 : Me: *cleans kitchen and does laundry
Wife: looks like someone is getting lucky
Me: 1 hour of uninterrupted Call of Duty?
W: Yes
Me: WOOHOO!

@johngcaldwell4: I dated a magician once; she put her hand on my leg and I turned into a motel.....