Her: He cheated on me with my best friend!! 馃槶
Me: 馃槓鈽癸笍
Me: I thought I was your best friend 馃槶
Friend: Our backstories shape us, but don鈥檛 define us
Me: Like Spanx
Have to prepare for a work meeting so instead I cleaned my entire kitchen, hung up some paintings, varnished another, and organized my art supplies.
Thank goodness I have subtitles on, otherwise how would I know there is sinister cackling
Therapists only want one thing and frankly it鈥檚 discussing.
Them: Are you the woman who overuses contractions?
Me: I’m.
I don鈥檛 want kids for the simple reason that math has changed and I won鈥檛 be able to help with their homework