Answering every phone call, text and email today with,
“NOT TODAY, SATAN, NOT TODAY”!
Confusing my 12 year old..
12: Dad, you want to go swimming in the pool?
Me: Dude, it’s friggin pouring out!
12: So???
Me: I don’t wanna get wet…
12: Ummmmm… WHAT?!
I did not take a DNA test…
Turns out I’m am 100% not caring what I am…
I’ll walk into the gym eating a slice of pizza so that everyone can hate me…