I have interests besides avoiding housework. In fact, I have a long list of things I’m interested in avoiding.
I’m really happy because my pill bottle says, Do not iron while taking this medication.
We don’t have any popcorn, so I’m just eating butter and salt.
The check engine light came on inside my oven.
I tried a little beginner’s yoga earlier. The ambulance should be here any minute.
Why can’t my kids understand that I’m just not into parenting right now.
My husband said we should have one date night each month. I said, “Great! I’ll take Johnny Depp. Who do you want?”
Cats throw up a lot, so when choosing your pet’s food, I recommend something that matches the carpet.
#caturday
I saw this anti-aging cream that promises to give you, “A neck that can turn heads”. If you’re so old that your neck can’t turn your head, you’re going to need more than a cream.
We got our cats a water fountain. Now they stand around it holding little paper cups and gossiping about us.
My husband found me lying on the sofa and said the kitchen was a complete mess. I said, “I know. That’s why I’m not in there.”
I’m too lazy to try the Marie Kondo method. I’m pinning my hopes on a robbery.
My husband says I never do anything, so I just cleaned out our bank account.
My husband fears a meat shortage and had $400 worth delivered. In order to fit it into the freezer, I had to eat all the ice cream. Who knew I was capable of such self-sacrifice?
My husband found me lying on the sofa and told me that the kitchen was a complete mess. I said, “I know. That’s why I’m not in there.”