SHE SAID YES!! 😍😍😍💍💍💍 i asked my mom if she was disappointed in me!!
men what’s stopping you from looking like this
cold water immersion sounds cool but i’m doing this other thing called warm bed immersion
what is your most benign unpopular opinion? i don’t mean like “the earth is flat” type of unpopular opinion, i mean like “I think golden retrievers are annoying” unpopular opinion
(holding a pickle like a cigarette) do you mind if i?
why are they throwing soup at paintings when my mouth is right here
i’m not dating for marriage i’m dating to split streaming and nytimes subscriptions
me: i wish i could go live in the woods
my phone: your screen time was up 34% this week for a daily average of 7 hours
surely THIS is the salad that will undo months of fast food and alcohol
“sorry i went off topic haha” -me, never having been anywhere near a topic
feeling sad today. can everyone please send cute pictures of their credit card, front and back?
me: dating is tough, lot of weirdos out there
me on a date: so here’s everything i know about the jonestown massacre
trust my gut? the thing that can’t even handle milk?
pandemic day 1: i hope we all survive this deadly pandemic
pandemic day 664: me and my friends have beef with Elmo now
why do people get so upset about bad haircuts. name one other problem that resolves itself quietly over time while you wait